Wicked Wishes
by Kristylized
Summary: When Renee decides she's unhappy that her daughter has tied the knot at the ripe old age of eighteen, Edward and Bella learn that vampires and werewolves aren't the only monsters in town... Written for the Wrong Kind of Monster Contest.


**The Wrong Kind of Monster…In-law Contest**  
**Title:** Wicked Wishes  
**Name:** Kristylized  
**Pairing:** Edward/Bella  
**Rating:** M  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine.  
For additional contest entries, please visit: www . fanfiction . net/u/2326991/Monster-In-Law_Contest

xx

My wedding was perfect.

Then everything promptly went to hell.

I should have known that the afterglow of marrying my soulmate wouldn't last long.

My life had been rather action-packed, various mythological creatures stomping in and out of my life for the past two years. Edward had been my rock throughout it all. He'd been my protector, my saviour and just… mine. But even he couldn't protect me this time around, because the monster wrecking havoc was none other than my own mother.

Renee had made it abundantly clear she didn't approve of my decision to get married at eighteen. Her disavowal of my choice had more to do with her own sour experiences than anything to do with Edward or I. When we had visited the summer before, she'd been thrilled with my boyfriend, squealing excitedly about how cute he was, and asking me if he was a good kisser, and if we'd made it to second base yet… that all would have been fine, had he not been listening in from the next room, with his stupid vampire hearing. I'd survived, though my heated cheeks had been in danger of singeing right off. She'd been happy for us.

Then Edward told me that if I ever wanted to make it past second base, he'd be needing a marriage certificate.

So I'd considered it, grudgingly, because I really, really thought third base sounded like fun and Edward was the only person I could imagine hitting a homerun with.

Two months later, after a lot of soul-searching (which is a euphemism for the failure to seduce my boyfriend), hormone-addled teenager that I was, I was engaged.

Charlie found out first. He was surprisingly supportive. His sole condition of approval was that I had to be the one to tell my mother. So I did. And immediately wished I hadn't.

Her short-lived marriage to Charlie had turned her off the concept of marrying young, and absolutely nothing was going to change her mind. As far as she was concerned, my marriage to Edward was doomed.

She was certain that within a year, when Edward and I went off to college, we'd drift apart. Our interests would diversify, and our marriage would crumble. Sure, she seemed like she was looking out for my best interests, at first. She didn't want me to get hurt any more than she had been when she was my age. I wasn't her, though. I knew what I wanted, and I was sure Edward did too. 107-year-old vampires have had plenty of time to fester over their decisions.

My mom might have been flighty, but she was stubborn as hell, too. Too bad she decided to wage war against the most stubborn man I'd ever had the pleasure of knowing. Edward was positive that we'd be fine, and that she was just testing us at best, and throwing a tantrum at worst. Either way, we'd come out the other side of our wedding in tact. According to Edward the bottom line was Renee was out of luck if she thought she could split us up. We knew what we wanted.

Up until the wedding she'd been vehemently disapproving, but not outright sabotaging, convinced that it was just a 'phase' I was going through, and that I'd gotten too attached to the flavour of the month.

She'd sat through my wedding quietly, with a tight-lipped smile. I was half-surprised that she hadn't stood when the minister called for objections. I supposed that would have been too predictable. My mother was anything but predictable; she relished spontaneity above all.

The worst she'd done before the wedding was hand me a jumbo-sized box of condoms, in front of Edward's family no less, declaring they'd be useful on my honeymoon, because there was no way she was going to be a grandmother any time in the near future.

Once I'd said 'I do,' my mother's hidden talons had come out with a vengeance, and her antics had promptly changed from annoying but harmless to down right evil.

And that was how I found myself at Anchorage International Airport.

xx

"Edward!" I wailed, fighting back the stinging tears of humiliation and disappointment.

He was dragging our luggage behind him. Like a good husband, he'd refused to let me carry mine. We were now walking through the small airport. We had attempted to pick up our hotel vouchers, only to find that none had been reserved. There was, however, a note from my mother, apologizing for a 'clerical error', and suggesting that we go stay with Tanya and her sisters who would be thrilled to have us for the week.

"I can't believe that my mother would do this to us! We're supposed to be on our honeymoon! And instead, we're going to visit your ex-girlfriend?"

"Tanya was never my girlfriend, Bella, you know that," Edward said, patiently, transferring all of our bags into one hand, so he could curl his other one around mine, consolingly.

"She wanted to be," I pouted.

He kissed me soothingly. "But she's not. I'm your husband. And we're going to enjoy our honeymoon." His velvet voice was full of confidence. I liked hearing him call himself my husband. It sounded final and possessive.

"My mother obviously knows that she wanted you," I grumbled. "God knows how she got that information. Why did we let my mother gift us a honeymoon trip, again? Shouldn't Alice have warned us?"

Edward turned to pull me close, curling me against his cool chest. Even through the fabric of his shirt, the coolness was soothing to my face, which had flushed in indignation. "We told Alice to stay out of our honeymoon, love. You know that."

I grumbled. I knew very well about the bargain with Alice. We had told her in no uncertain terms that she could not peek in on our honeymoon with her visions. We had compromised by letting her pack our bags in their entirety, and therefore decide what would be worn in all of our honeymoon pictures.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch it, either." His face was anguished, as if he thought that he had failed me. I was more upset with myself for believing my mother could change. "I truly thought she meant us no harm. Most the time she's hard for me to read. She's always thinking several things at once, and none of them have anything to do with what she's talking about." He shook his head. "I'll never understand the human mind. She seemed sincere when she offered the tickets to us as an apology for her actions. She was merely thinking about how she hoped that we'd have a good time, and about her erotic pottery class." He frowned. "I should have asked Jasper to double check before accepting."

"No," I pouted, "it's not your fault. It's hers. She purposely planned it so we wouldn't know until it was too late. I should have known something was up when she booked a private jet, and was so adamant about it being a surprise. Did you hear what the pilot was thinking? Did you know we were coming to Alaska?"

He nodded. "He was thinking he was sending us on an Alaskan cruise. I didn't tell you, because I didn't want to ruin your mother's surprise. He had no idea that her plan was to shack us up with the Denalis."

"Well, I guess we have no choice." I groaned. This was just what I needed. Being surrounded by beautiful female vampires, most of whom were single, and probably better suited for my husband than I was. I knew Edward would never cheat on me, but the thought that my mother was attempting to pressure him into it sparked a fire in me.

"Yes, Bella," he countered, "we do. If you're unhappy, I'm not going to stand by and watch. I am your husband. It's my duty to make sure you're satisfied. Give me five minutes and I'll book us a rush flight, anywhere you want to go."

"Anywhere?" I asked, shocked. "Say I wanted to go to a rural fishing village in Africa?"

"We would be there in a heartbeat. As long you're there, I will be pleased with wherever you choose. I want you to have your dream honeymoon." It was a sweet sentiment, and I agreed entirely, but… if he was going to let me pick…

"I want to go to Italy."

Edward rolled his eyes. "It figures. I give you the freedom to choose, and you pick the one place that's worse than where we are. I know you refuse to consider them a threat, but the Volturi are very dangerous, Bella."

"But," I protested, "you said anywhere. I've always wanted to visit Florence. It would be an amazing place to honeymoon. It's got so much history. We could rent a private little villa. We don't have to see anyone. The country is big enough to keep our distance."

Edward sighed, deeply, in a long-suffering way. He knew he was beat. "If I didn't love you so much…" The threat was idle, and we both knew it. "I'll book the flight."

I pressed myself against him in gratitude, tilting my mouth up to him, offering him a kiss in thanks. He immediately sunk against me, his rigid form melting slightly. I straightened up a bit, pleased with the surge of power I'd felt over winning this little argument. I'd fulfilled my biggest promise: to marry him. Perhaps he was feeling grateful. If that was the case, I was liking marriage already.

His forehead still pressed against mine, I felt him reach into his pocket for his phone. As he talked into the receiver, his eyes never moved from mine. Five minutes later, just as he promised, we had a plane chartered to Florence. I wondered vaguely how much it had cost him to secure a private jet in this tiny airport. I decided I didn't want to know.

"We leave in twenty minutes."

"Thank you! Thank you!" I kissed him again, the moment he flipped the phone shut.

He smiled, running a finger down my cheek affectionately. "If this is the way you're going to react when things go your way, I think we might have to do things your way more often."

"Thank my mother," I said dryly. "If it weren't for her attempt to set you up with other women on our honeymoon…"

"There is absolutely nothing I want to thank your mother for at the moment, except for bringing you into the world." I hugged him, unsure how to respond to the compliment. Even after so many months together, I couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that Edward wanted me… that he'd waited a hundred years for _me_.

"Do you mind if we get something to eat before we board?"

He stiffened, and I immediately wondered what I had said. He'd never worried about me eating in public without him, before. My question was quickly answered when a statuesque strawberry-blonde vampire materialized near the luggage carousel. Tanya. Perfect.

"Edward!" she greeted cheerfully. "Bella, it's nice to finally meet you. Edward talks about you all the time. I'm so sorry that I missed the wedding. Irina's not been herself since Laurent; we couldn't leave her."

"Tanya." Edward stiffened. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here," she replied. "The better question is, why are you here? Honeymooning in Alaska? Isn't it a little chilly for humans?"

I gritted my teeth, biting back a comment about evil mothers.

"Bella, your mother called me about half an hour ago, asking for a favour. She said that the accommodations she booked fell through, and asked if I wouldn't mind picking you up from the airport. She wants you to stay with us until something can be worked out. Of course, I can't reject family, so I drove out immediately."

"That won't be necessary, Tanya," Edward said politely. "Bella and I managed to book a flight out."

"Oh," Tanya pouted. "Edward, you haven't visited since last year! Carmen and Eleazar would be devastated if you didn't stop by to say hello. And when Renee called… Kate, Irina and I were looking forward to getting to know Bella, now that she will be a part of our family. Ooh, I know! We could have a girls' night! That would be fun, wouldn't it, Bella? It would be the perfect opportunity for us to get to know one another. You can postpone the flight, can't you Edward? I insist!"

"Um, well, I don't know–" I started uncomfortably, unsure of where I was going with the thought.

"Tanya," Edward said firmly, pulling me to his side pointedly. "Bella and I are on our honeymoon. We'd like to spend some time alone, actually."

"Oh, Edward," Tanya giggled obnoxiously, nudging him in the side. He scratched his hair, a sure sign he was irritated, and trying to control his temper. He clutched me tighter. "Taking your human for a spin, are you? It's great fun, I assure you. Just make sure you're gentle. Humans are fragile little things."

"Actually," I interrupted, probably saving Tanya's life in the process – Edward looked on the verge of murderous. "Edward's already 'taken me for a spin,'" I lied, hoping to put her off. "We'd just like some alone time."

"Oh well. That's excellent." Tanya smiled, genuinely. She gave me a quick once over, and patted Edward on the back in a congratulatory way. "Awesome job for a first-timer!" Edward looked horrified. He said nothing, just stared at Tanya, unblinking. I wasn't sure whether he was preparing to rip her head off, or simply stunned.

I pulled at his hand, futilely, trying to put some distance between him and Tanya, just in case. He refused to move, his eyes still locked on Tanya angrily, his fists clenching and unclenching repeatedly. That plan to separate them was going nowhere, so I squeezed myself into the small space between them, wrapping my arms around Edward's shoulders, acting as a physical shield between him and Tanya.

"Ooh, this is cozy!" Tanya giggled placing her hands on my hips. I rolled my eyes at the contrived sound of her laugh. "I didn't know you were into this kind of thing, Bella, but I can't say that–"

"I'm saving your life!" I hissed. "Edward won't hurt me. He might kill you."

"I can hear you," Edward muttered. "No one's going to get hurt. However, we do need to be on our way. As... lovely... as this little gathering was, Bella and I have a plane to catch. I'm sorry that Renee called you out for nothing, Tanya. She's been having some trouble adjusting to our union."

"Oh," Tanya purred, rubbing Edward's shoulder, ignoring the fact I was still hanging from his neck. He visibly tensed at her touch. "It was nothing. Anything to help a friend." She then focused her amber gaze on me and winked. "And you, if you ever want to spice things up, you let me know, okay, chica?" She squeezed my hip and in a swish of blonde hair she was gone, leaving both Edward and I perplexed in her wake.

"Was she propositioning you or me?" Edward wondered, his brow scrunching adorably.

"I think that is open to interpretation," I returned, just as confused by Tanya's weird behaviour as my husband. "But I'd go with both. Definitely both."

xx

Despite my mother's meddling, my honeymoon ended up being as perfect for me as the man I married. The tiny villa I had suggested Edward rent ended up being nothing short of a castle. It was everything I'd dreamed of and then some. Though I knew it must have cost a fortune, for once I couldn't bring myself to care. After Renee's scheming I was just pleased I wasn't holed up with Tanya and company for a week.

I didn't think about Renee and her meddling once more for the entire trip, except to mentally thank her for her inappropriate, but ultimately useful pre-wedding gift. The condoms came in very handy when my worrywart husband decided I was at risk of contracting sexually-transmitted vampirism.

Despite Edward's initial reservation regarding our intimate relationship, that part of our honeymoon was executed flawlessly, too. He was sweet and gentle; everything I could have asked for. Aside from a few bruises, I was in perfect condition. Edward took the fading marks much harder than I did.

So it was with a great sadness that we departed two weeks later. Edward had insisted that we could stay as long as we liked, but I was beginning to miss his family and mine. Even my meddlesome mother. Perhaps now that she'd had time to let my marriage settle in her mind, she'd give up her antics.

I should have known better.

When we arrived at the SeaTac, via a commercial flight (much to Edward's chagrin) my mother and father were dutifully waiting at the gate to pick us up. We'd only been expecting Charlie. Renee was supposed to be back in Florida with Phil, who'd returned the night of the wedding.

"Oh, my baby!" Huge sobs wracked her small frame. "Oh, I was so worried about you! Tanya said that you refused her invitation to stay in Denali! And then you disappeared!"

"Renee, I told you that they went–" Charlie began, but Renee's sobbing increased in volume, and my father cowered in terror. He'd never been good with dealing with women's emotions, least of all my mother's.

"Oh! I was so worried! I thought I'd never see you again, and that that horrible man had kidnapped you! I don't trust him, Bella." Edward rolled his eyes, saying nothing.

"Mom!" I admonished. "'That man' is my husband, and his name is Edward. And I know for a fact that Dad got the message that we rerouted our honeymoon. How else did you know which gate to pick us up at?"

She yanked my arm away from Edward, glaring at him hatefully, her tears suddenly gone. "Oh look at you!" She inspected my slightly bronzed arm. "What did he do to you?"

"Mom, this is called a tan. Edward didn't do anything. We had a private beach, so we got quite a lot of sun."

"He beat you!" Renee gasped. "We have to alert the police right away! Domestic violence is intolerable, Bella. Once the cycle of abuse begins…"

Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulder comfortingly, and addressed my mother like one would a child. "Mrs. Dwyer, domestic abuse is not something to joke about. As you can see, Bella is perfectly unharmed. I love my wife, and I assure you, I intend to keep my vows sacred. I only desire to love and honour her for the rest of her life. There is no need to file a false police report. I see you've come with Chief Swan. Do you think he'd allow me to perpetrate any crimes against his daughter?"

Renee looked at Edward's arm draped around my shoulders distastefully. "You just can't keep your hands off of her, can you? This is a public place, you know. Save some things for the privacy of your own home."

"Renee," Charlie tried again, "the kids just got back from their honeymoon. Cut them a break will you? The boy is hardly doing anything scandalous. I don't think he knows the word to be perfectly honest."

"Do you remember what we did on our honeymoon, Charles?"

"Uh, yes. Well. Bella's here. Perhaps we shouldn't be discussing this." My dad was looking a little green. I wasn't exactly pleased with my mother's implication, either.

Only Edward seemed unaffected. "So, Mrs. Dwyer," he said loudly, in a futile attempt to diffuse the tension, "what are you still doing in Washington? Bella and I thought you were planning to head back to Florida to be with Phil?"

"You shouldn't assume things, Edwin. It's not becoming. Boys these days have no decency. Bella, I don't understand why you won't let me set you up with a nice young man who actually knows his manners."

"Mom," I sighed. "I'm married. I love Edward. I wouldn't want anyone else."

"Bella, I was talking to Egbert. It's not polite to interrupt. As I was saying... Phil and I have decided that it would be a good idea for me to spend some time with the two of you, and help you set up your lives together. God knows you're going to need all the help you can get, and I can't stand the thought of poor Carlisle and Esme having to shoulder all of the burden."

"Mother, do you really think it's wise for us to share a house with you? We just got married. We want to spend time together. And I know you'll miss teaching the kids. They need you," I hinted persuasively.

Renee patted my cheek condescendingly. "Not as much as you, darling. Don't worry, Mommy will make everything better. Taming unruly men is my specialty! Look at your father! And don't worry, I won't be any trouble. I've already moved my bags into your cottage."

"Cottage?" I wondered, stupidly. "We don't have a cottage."

"Oh right. Oops, sorry, I wasn't supposed to tell you. Oh well. Esme built a starter home for you on her property. It's adorable. The interior décor is hideous, though. Don't worry, we'll get you some nice bold leopard prints to spice things up. Maybe some peacock feathers in vibrantly coloured stained-glass vases. And definitely some gold lamé accents. That ought to brighten it up."

"Mother, I'm sure if Esme designed it, it's beautiful–"

"Nonsense, darling. Anyone related to this one here has questionable tastes. Look at him, darling," Renee encouraged, turning me to face my husband. "He's wearing a black suit. Black! _And_ a black tie! If he painted his fingernails, he'd be a goth. That's not the kind of man for you, sweetie."

"Mrs. Dywer," Edward gritted out, apparently fed up with my mother's railroading. "My wife and I have had a long flight. We'd like to get back home, if you don't mind."

"Call me Renee, Eduardo. Mrs. Dwyer is a horrible, petty old bat." Edward bit his lip, but I knew what he was thinking. _Sounds about right._ I couldn't say I disagreed, based on the way she was acting now.

"Okay, Renee," Edward corrected himself. "We'd like to go home and rest. If you don't mind."

"Rest?" Renee asked horrified. "Oh my. I can't believe it. You're pregnant, aren't you? I knew there had to be a reason the two of you wanted to get married so quickly!"

"No one is pregnant," I snapped. "When Edward said rest, he meant rest. There is no hidden meaning."

Renee sighed, shaking her head sadly. "I wasn't sure I believed it, but now I know it must be true. You're having awful mood swings, dear."

"Renee, please. Can we just go home?" Charlie pleaded. "I think we've had enough family time to last us until Thanksgiving."

"Charlie, you always were so sensitive," Renee simpered. I fought back a snicker at the blatant lie. Charlie was next to unflappable.

"Let's just get the kids' luggage and go, alright?"

xx

We'd barely had five minutes to settle into our newfound cottage, when my mother spotted the pile of gifts in our living room.

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Renee clapped her hands eagerly. "I remember opening the gifts from my wedding! Oh, I wonder what this one is?" My nearly forty-year-old mother shook a neatly-wrapped box like a five-year-old. "Would you mind it I opened it? It sounds expensive!" I wasn't sure what an expensive gift sounded like, but apparently my mother knew.

"Sure, Renee," Edward sighed. "There's far too many for us to possibly open them on our own. We'd love your help."

Renee promptly shredded the paper, revealing a beautiful crystal vase. She glared at it in disgust. "Who would buy something like this? It's so tacky." She checked the name on the tag. "Esme. Oh, well. I'm sorry dear, but your mother must have meant this as a joke."

"Yes," Edward drawled sarcastically, "my parents have the strangest sense of humor."

"Yes, well... perhaps you should open something of mine, so you'll have some objects of real use around here." She handed Edward a gift wrapped in the Sun-Times, with too much tape.

"Oh dear. Phil must have wrapped this one. It's what's inside that counts, right darling?"

"Of course. I tell Bella that all the time when she doubts herself." Edward kissed my temple sweetly. "Even though she's as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside."

"Oh, I know you're going to love it!" Renee squealed. Edward raised an eyebrow at me. This was the nicest my mother had been to him all morning.

Edward pulled away the paper to reveal a used-looking dog bowl. The word Fido had been crossed out. 'Edmund' had been scrawled in its place.

"Wow, Renee," Edward said politely. "This is nice." I had to hand it to him, my husband had more restraint than I did. I glared at Renee.

My mother beamed. "I told Phil the two of you needed some new dishes. New couples always think of furniture and appliances and towels. No one ever gets dishes."

"That's so thoughtful of you, Renee," Edward smiled at her. "You shouldn't have."

I snatched the bowl from him and waved it at my mother. "Are you kidding me with this? If this is your idea of a joke… well, it's disrespectful, Mom. Edward hasn't done anything to you."

"I'm sorry darling." Renee raised her hand to her mouth, embarrassed. Serves her right. "I can't believe I forgot to remove the price sticker."

I sighed. I should have known she wasn't repenting.

I flipped the bowl over, and sure enough, there was a garage sale sticker, displaying the whopping price of 25 cents. I could hardly believe her gall. I shrugged at Edward, embarrassed that I was related to someone who would treat him so horribly, when his family had been nothing but accepting of me.

Edward peeled off the sticker easily, his expression nonchalant. He managed another smile for my mother, though I'm sure he was seething inside. I knew he didn't care that my mother was treating him badly, only that her actions were distressing to me. "I'll go put this in the kitchen."

A few moments later, I was pleased to hear the clang of something hitting the bottom of our kitchen garbage can. Edward reappeared a moment later. "It's in a place of honour," he said soberly.

"Now that Edwin's had a chance to open one, you should too," Renee said gleefully. She passed me something small and flat. It felt like a book. Images of sex manuals springing to mind, I hesitantly tore open a corner.

What I found was much worse than a sex manual.

Even Edward couldn't pretend to be happy with what I'd unearthed. His arm, which was slung around my waist, stiffened.

"You realize this is an introduction package to an online dating website, don't you, Mother?" I asked, scathingly. Of course she knew.

"Yes," Renee said brightly. "Now the two of you can plan romantic dates together all over the city!"

"Mother, online dating sites help you find a partner, not organize dates with an existing one."

Renee's eyes widened comically. "Really? I guess I'll have to revise my Christmas list, then!" she said sheepishly. "It's non-refundable, though, sweetie, so I suppose you should make use of it the best you can. You've got to keep your options open, you know."

"Do you not understand the concept of marriage, Mom?" I wasn't even angry. Disappointed, maybe, but even that wasn't a strong enough word. I needed a whole new word to describe what I was feeling. "Forever is kind of part of the deal. I'm not looking to upgrade, and I doubt I could if I tried. Edward is perfect for me. If you're so adamant about me not being married to Edward, can we please discuss it like adults? We're happy, so I'm not sure why you're so upset with us. I'm sick of this run-around. Maybe if we talk openly, we can address whatever concerns you have."

"I don't understand," Renee pouted, "It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone. I assure you, I have nothing but warm feelings for Edmund. I admit, I thought the two of you got married a little hastily. You barely knew him, and there you were rushing into marriage barely out of high school… Puppy love is a sweet thing, but I want more for you. Unfortunately, you can't see that I'm looking out for your best interests. What I went through with Charlie was awful. Young love can go sour fast. We're barely on speaking terms!"

"Mother, you were reminiscing warmly with Charlie less than an hour ago. You laughed at his Mariners jokes. There wasn't much animosity to be found."

"That's what you think, darling."

I sighed. "Fine, Mother. I'm tired. Do you mind if Edward and I rest now? I could really use a nap. The plane ride wasn't the most comfortable."

"That's what happens when you ride coach," Edward said primly. "If you'd just let me get us first class, you would have had plenty of room. I could have lifted up the arm rest, and you could have slept on my shoulder."

Renee looked affronted. "This is too much! First, the two of you want to sleep in the same bed, and now you're fighting? The two of you seem to have a very volatile marriage. Have you considered counseling?"

"Our marriage is perfectly fine, Renee," Edward assured, uselessly. "We've been married for two weeks. That's hardly enough time for it to go sour. We're still in our newlywed phase."

Renee tsked. "That's absolutely not true. Perhaps if Britney had tried counseling her marriage would have lasted. I have the numbers of some well-respected doctors in the area." She reached into her bag, retrieving a thick stack of business cards which she placed on a nearby coffee table. "Just in case." She winked.

"If there isn't anything else pressing, Bella and I would like to take that nap now…" His tone trailed off, but there was no mistaking that he was telling, not asking.

Renee apparently didn't get the memo. "But you haven't even seen your wedding photos yet!" she pouted. "They're gorgeous, you have to see them." Edward grudgingly accepted the manila envelope Renee passed him.

He pulled out the photos, balancing them in his lap so that we could both see them clearly. Renee hovered over us, bubbling with excitement.

The first photo in the stack was one of me in my dress. Edward ran a finger down my face, in the photo. "You looked so gorgeous at our wedding," he murmured. "I'll never forget. The white of your dress... the pink of your cheeks… the smell of vintage lace and strawberries and freesia. So perfect." I knew he wasn't kidding. His photographic memory would ensure he remembered every detail. I felt I flash of sadness that I wouldn't.

We flipped through several more photos, each featuring my beaming face. They were all fine, but I was most looking forward to the shots of Edward and I together: clasping hands, our first kiss, our first dance. But they never came. "Mom? Where are the rest of the photos?"

"Uh, well, about that, honey, you see, I made some… alterations… to them. You know how I enjoy scrapbooking? I had to artfully crop some of them to make them fit the frames. I didn't realize that these were the only copies. Your father lost the negatives. Oops," she tittered.

"I want to see the scrapbook," I demanded.

"Sweetie, I'm not sure that's the best idea…"

"Mother. Show. Me. The. Scrapbook."

She sheepishly produced an ornate, lace covered photo album. I frantically flipped through the pages. "Mother! Edward isn't in any of these!"

I felt the tears sting my eyes. This was the last straw. I had no photos of my husband on our wedding day because my mother couldn't get over something that had happened nearly two decades ago.

My tears spilled over. Edward gently wiped them away with the cool pads of his thumbs. "Shh, love. It's okay. My parents took video. You'll always have that. I think this album is quite lovely. Who wants to look at me when they could look at you?"

"Me! That's who!" I sniffled. "And now I won't be able to show our friends and family my wedding pictures! What kind of wedding pictures have no groom?" I turned on my mother fiercely. "I can't believe you'd stoop so low as to cut my husband out of all of our wedding photos!"

"This was just supposed to be for me. I wanted a nice album of photos of you. You never let me take your picture, so I figured, I'd make do with these…" she protested. "We were going to make other copies. If I'd known the negatives had been lost, I never would have–"

"I don't care!"

"If you think about it, Edwin isn't really all that essential to these pictures, anyway." She had the nerve to shrug, as if _I_ was overreacting.

"Huh," I fumed, "is that so? How about in this one?" I flipped to a particularly lovely shot of me kissing what appeared to be air. I could just make out the tip of Edward's chin on the edge where he would have been standing, had the picture not been 'artfully cropped,' as my mother had put it. I was surprised she hadn't managed to snip that out, too. "The only picture of my husband in our wedding album features his chin. It isn't even his whole chin! I hope you're happy with yourself."

Renee apologized again. "I have something that might cheer you up," she suggested, brightly, presenting me with a plush bear, with one of my wedding photos sewn onto his shirt. In this one I was holding the hand of an invisible man. "Look! It's got his whole hand in it. _And_ part of his arm!"

"Wow, Mother. You've truly outdone yourself," I growled, irritated that this was her idea of making it up to me. "I think it might be best if you leave, at least for tonight. Okay? I can't look at you right now. Go stay with Charlie for the night. Or find a hotel. I can't believe that you'd do something like this. Edward has been nothing but loving and caring to me, and to you. I'm ashamed that you seem incapable of responding in kind. Until you decide to treat my husband considerately, you're not welcome in my home."

"But, darling. It was an accident. I–"

"No, Mother. Goodnight." I picked up her handbag and laptop case, escorting her towards the door. I gestured for Edward to retrieve her luggage. He did so eagerly, probably happier than I was to be rid of her.

Once she had all her belongings, I shut the door, declaring we would welcome her back, should she learn to be civil.

"I'm so sorry, love." Edward said gently. "I wish there was something I could have done. If there was anything at all I could say or do to change her opinion… I would."

"It's not you. She loved you, until she found out about our wedding! I thought she was just looking out for me!" I sniffed, tears splashing down my checks unchecked. "Now that we're officially married… it's like she's truly jumped off the deep end. I'm not talking just a little insane, I'm talking psychotic break!"

I picked up the stupid bear, holding it up pointedly. "I mean, what is this? This is not the work of a normal in-law. Charlie was more accepting! I'm sorry for putting you through this. Please don't divorce me. That's what she wants."

He grasped me in a bone-crunching hug. "Bella, the only thing that could make me leave is you. I promised you forever and I meant it from the bottom of my heart. No amount of insane familial relationships will turn me off of you, I assure you."

He grabbed the bear, "As for this little guy, I think it's quite humourous that Renee would think something this petty would damage our relationship. He's quite cute, though, so I don't know if I'd feel right about tossing him like Edmund's bowl. Anything with your image on it is worth saving. Here." He set the bear down proudly on kitchen countertop. "He can watch over the kitchen."

xx

"Edward," I giggled, swatting at his hands, uselessly. He was hovering over me, stroking my hips as I puttered around the kitchen. "Can't you go hunt a deer or something? I have dinner, you have dinner," I suggested persuasively.

"That's not as much fun as this is, Bella," he mumbled against the skin of my neck, where he was currently dropping a series of breath-stealing kisses. How did he expect me not to burn down the cottage while he was doing this to me? "I'm not hungry. Deer don't taste nearly as good. Your mother's been gone for hours, and we haven't been intimate since before we left Italy."

"For someone with perfect memory, yours sure is selective. Did the in-flight entertainment not register with you? Two weeks and I'm already losing my touch," I sighed, dramatically.

"Hardly. That counts as half. Until I'm inside you again, the clock continues to tick. You created a monster, Bella."

"A love monster?" I teased.

"An insatiable love monster," he corrected, nipping at my neck. I knew he'd never bite, but the thought of him changing me like this was erotic. I felt myself responding to his advances, unconsciously pressing myself against him.

I groaned, vaguely aware that he'd turned off the stove. I couldn't concentrate on anything but the feel of my husband, who had just told me that he couldn't get enough. I couldn't agree more.

"You feel so amazing. So soft, Bella," his voice was barely a whisper. "I was a fool to ever deny us this. I hope you'll forgive me. I intend to demonstrate my apologies many, many times."

"As many as you like," I promised, running a hand through his hair in encouragement for him to continue his worship of my neck. The area was particularly sensitive. I liked the irony that my vampire husband enjoyed kissing my neck.

"Now, don't go making promises you can't keep." He ran a hand down the inside curve of my thigh. I gasped. "I'll prefer if you could still walk tomorrow. When you're less delicate, maybe I'll consider it…"

"No, you won't," I sighed, focusing on the feel of his fingers, entirely too distracted to do anything more than grab at his hair. I was surprised I was still able to talk. "You freaked out on me that first night, when you saw a few tiny, insignificant bruises."

"I'll never forgive myself for that," he said solemnly. "You should be revered, not manhandled."

"Oh, please." I rolled my eyes, gasping when his cool breath ghosted across a particularly sensitive spot. "The things we've done in the past two weeks, and you can't open you mind a little?"

"My mind is wide open," he countered. "For instance, three weeks ago I would never have considered making love to my wife on a kitchen island."

"Three weeks ago you didn't have a wife," I teased, absently. "However, this wife would very much enjoy helping you reach that goal, you know, if you wanted to."

"See how much I've grown?" he wondered, lifting me onto the counter and settling between my thighs. It quickly became apparent just how much he'd grown. He hummed and pressed our hips together, wrapping my legs around his.

"Love, please, not so quickly. Unless you want to explain to Esme why we need a new kitchen counter?"

He didn't let me respond, hungrily sweeping me into a kiss. Tentatively his tongue sought entrance to my mouth. I readily accepted it and was immediately absorbed by his taste. He tasted like sour apple candies. Since he'd first allowed me to taste him properly, I couldn't get enough. He promised me that there wasn't enough venom in a kiss to change me. Ingested, it was harmless, anyway. I wouldn't have cared if it wasn't. Being able to thoroughly kiss my husband was worth it. He still refused to let my tongue anywhere near his mouth, for fear I'd cut myself on his teeth. I knew I'd break down my overprotective husband on that too, eventually.

"Sweetheart?" His voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere underwater.

"Hmm?" I murmured still under the haze kissing him always induced.

"I'm sorry, I keep doing that to you," he muttered, shame-faced. "I just can't help myself. I need to taste you."

"Would you stop apologizing?" I admonished softly. "I want to get lost in you. There's nowhere else I'd rather get lost."

"It's the same for me, you know. Now, where's Renee's giant box of fun makers?"

"Fun makers?" I snorted. "'Condoms' isn't good enough for you?"

He shrugged, sheepishly. "It sounded crude in my head."

"Fun makers is much better, though," I said sarcastically. Sobering, I added, "I'm pretty sure they're still in our luggage." My impatience was growing. Edward's must have been too, because he was out of the room like a shot. I barely had time to pull my shirt over my head before he was back with the box, which he dumped upside-down sadly. A lone foil packet toppled to the granite.

"One?" I asked, incredulously. "What happened to the other thirty-nine?"

"They… made fun, I suppose."

"We wouldn't want this one to be left out. It would be sad. We wouldn't want to be the cause of its sadness, would we?"

"No," he murmured agreeably.

I guided him back between my legs, hitching them around his waist once again. Once he was situated, he ran a cool finger down one of my black lace bra straps. "This is pretty."

"It's for you," I explained flirtatiously, batting my lashes coyly. Edward ate it up, his eyes darkening from bright gold to butterscotch as desire pooled in them. A moment later, my bra straps mysteriously snapped, clean cuts visible on either side. Edward pushed it down eagerly.

I arched an eyebrow. "You didn't have to bite them, you know. It has a clasp."

"My way is faster," he explained, as if that made it okay. When I felt his cool lips surrounded one of my nipples a moment later, I couldn't disagree his way had its merits. The tingling of his venom on my sensitive skin was unbearably pleasant. I threaded my hands through his hair, humming and sighing in contentment.

My fingers were trembling with want, as I reached to undo the zipper on his pants. In our position, I couldn't reach. "Up," I begged. Ever the dutiful husband, Edward immediately obeyed, returning his attention to my neck. I undid the zipper blindly, frustrated when his pants refused to fall. Quickly realizing I hadn't undone his belt, I loosened that as well, gratified to hear the sound of the cloth slipping to the floor. He kicked them off, so I set about removing his jacket, tie and dress shirt. "Do you have to wear so many clothes?" I grumbled, tearing at the buttons, not caring if I ripped them. If Edward could destroy my clothes, I could do the same to his.

"Bella…" Edward lifted his pleading gaze to mine. I immediately quieted, feeling a surge of guilt. He wanted this as much as I did. Within moments the rest of our clothes had joined the ones already scattered across the kitchen. "Please tell me you're ready," he begged, "I don't think I can wait much longer."

"I'm ready," I assured him. Suddenly remembering the foil packet clenched in my hand, I offered it up to him, like a lost treasure. He snatched it greedily, quickly rolling it onto himself.

I sucked in a shuddery breath, watching my husband sheath his erection in the latex, my awe probably written all over my face. I wondered briefly if he tasted as good as he looked. Edward had yet to let me attempt that particular act. Whether it was because of his worries about his control or my safety, I wasn't sure. I was content that in time we'd work it out.

I was still scarcely able to believe we'd made it this far. At times it still felt surreal. A few weeks ago, entire realms of pleasure had still been unknown to me. Now, I would get to do this for the rest of forever. I felt… lucky… to be able to share it all with Edward.

He was beautiful, inside and out. So… beautiful. I felt drugged by my happiness and the awareness of what was coming next.

Edward's concerned eyes meeting mine only increased the euphoric feeling. "Love?"

"Edward, please," I rasped. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, the way my legs were already wrapped around his hips.

He nodded in silent understanding, murmuring that he loved me as he pushed into me. My slickness made his thrusts smooth and effortless.

We quickly fell into a comfortable pattern of pushing and pulling, our bodies working in tandem to reach a goal just within sight, but still much too far off. As he always did, Edward tucked his head into the crook of my neck. I sighed at the affectionate gesture, pleased he wanted to be as close to me as I wanted to be to him. Above the physical release, I relished the intimacy of this act. I loved that I could make him feel as blissful as he had made me, if only briefly.

We quickly settled into a rhythm we'd perfected during our honeymoon. I sighed at the fluidity of our actions, pleased that Edward was familiar to me in this way, now. Over the past two weeks he'd perfected the art of being close to me to the point where he no longer wreaked havoc on our surroundings. I wouldn't mind a few cracks in the counter to serve as reminder of this experience, though…

We were both so wound up it didn't take long for us to topple headfirst into coital bliss, Edward slightly before me. I shushed him before he could start to self-flagellate some imaginary lack of control on his part. His guilty mind never let up. Stupid, beautiful vampire. He was perfect the way he was.

If my mother could only see him now… see how through little more than soft caresses, he proved how selfless and true his adoration of me was… she would know that this was right. So very right.

xx

I was awakened the next morning from my peaceful sleep by the sound of my mother's voice droning from my living room. I didn't remember going to bed. Edward must have carried me after I'd fallen asleep. I stretched out languidly against the softness of pillows I was snuggled in, wondering why he had left me to face my mother alone. I sighed. I wonder idly if she had kept her promise to adjust her behaviour towards my husband. Somehow I really doubted it.

Throwing on my robe and a pair of slippers, I staggered out into the common area to go save Edward from my mother's clutches. My mother was sitting on the couch, in some sort of exercise pose, muttering. Edward was nowhere to be found.

"Mom?" I asked, confused. "What are you doing?"

"Meditative yoga, darling. My herbalist told me it's good for my aura. She says it's never been so pink!"

"I meant what are you doing here? In my house? It's," I glanced at the clock, "eight in the morning. Did Edward let you in?"

"Oh no, I made a key for myself. I hope you don't mind. I'm going to be staying with you for the next couple months, so it seemed like the easiest way."

I scowled. "You remember what happened yesterday, don't you? We decided that it wasn't a good idea for you to stay with us until you can learn to respect Edward. He's been nothing but kind to you, and you're been nothing but antagonistic in return."

"I figured you'd have gotten over your tantrum by now, and be ready to think like a rational human being."

I sighed, not bothering to respond. There would be no winning the argument that was sure to follow. "If he's not here, where is he?"

Renee shook her head sadly. "Two weeks and already you've lost track of your husband. I'm disappointed. Though he does seem a bit deviant. Are you sure he hasn't left?" I bit back a reply about how she commonly lost track of her mind.

"Of course I'm sure he hasn't left," I snapped, irritated that she'd been here for less than ten minutes and was already back to insulting Edward's integrity.

Thankfully, Edward walking in the door interrupted my mother's unwanted reply.

"Oh Edward," Renee simpered, "So nice to see you. Though, I must say you're looking a little _dirty_ today."

Edward looked down at himself in alarm.

I rolled my eyes at my mother. He looked flawless as always. I understood his hesitation, however, when he settled against my side, whispering, "hunting," in my ear, under the guise of kissing my temple.

"What were you doing out anyway? Were you cheating on my daughter?" Renee accused. "I'd hope that you were satisfied after last night."

I felt all the blood drain from my face. "What are you talking about?"

"Your display of gratuitous nudity last night was extremely unbecoming." Renee looked at me steadily, as if she had every right to be commenting on my sex-life.

I was grateful that Edward spoke for both of us, because I couldn't form words. My mouth was opening and closing, but no sounds were being produced. "I'm sorry Renee, but I'm not sure that Bella and I understand what you mean."

"I mean the little rendezvous in the kitchen. At approximately 8:13 last night you lifted my daughter onto the countertop and then–"

"We know what happened next," I interrupted, mortified my mother would stoop this low. Even Edward looked a little embarrassed. He shouldn't be, though. We had done nothing wrong. I was more annoyed that my mother was doing this to humiliate Edward. I'd just managed to draw him out of his shell, and Renee was trying to shove him back in.

She was pure evil, attempting to make us feel guilty when we'd done nothing wrong. Her logic was so flawed it astounded me. When Edward had been merely my boyfriend she'd been all for me having sex with him. Now that I was married to him, I had committed some great crime by sleeping with him. What kind of person glorified premarital sex and demonized married couples being intimate?

"Well, perhaps you should explain it to me then, because I am very confused, Bella."

"Renee," Edward growled, warningly. I knew he was angry because he never raised his voice with our parents. Ever. "You're making Bella uncomfortable. If we could please choose another topic..."

Renee ignored Edward and spoke directly to me. "Now Bella, you have to understand, as your mother, I'm looking out for you."

"My husband said something to you, Mother. I think it would be wise if you listened to him if you want me to listen to you."

My mother ignored me, too, continuing with her little speech. "I didn't want to watch the two of you going about your private lives, but you've given me no choice. The camera was just a precaution mind you…"

" A camera?" I screeched, anger bubbling in the pit of my stomach. "You set up a camera on us?"

Renee smiled nonchalantly, as if she had every right. It sent my blood boiling. Edward squeezed my hand, silently showing his support. I rested my head against his cool shoulder, glad his lower temperature could moderate my spiking one.

"I wanted to see how the two of you acted around one another when others aren't around."

"Renee, I'm sure you're aware that is a gross violation of our privacy," Edward stated calmly.

"I'm a mother. It's my right to check up on my child. You accepted the bear, I didn't force it upon you. The reconnaissance was a little bonus wedding gift: the love of a mother wanting to do right by her child."

"I'm sorry to say, Renee, but I think you've got it wrong." Edward's cold voice and expression were frightening. "It's your own interests you've got in mind. You've made a few missteps in your life, and now you're punishing your daughter for them."

Renee merely gazed at us levelly, once again ignoring Edward and speaking directly to me. "You're going to end up pregnant or divorced, like I was, I'm sure of it. I see all the signs. I want to make sure that you have the opportunity to have your marriage annulled. The marriage will be like it never existed. You've had your fun, now it's time for reality. If you don't stop being so stubborn and realize the mistake you've made soon, it'll be too late. Divorce will be your only option and you'll be tied to a man you have nothing in common with, all because you share a baby."

"We don't have to explain anything to you!" I retorted, "We're not going to have a baby, we're not going to be stuck with one another and we're most certainly not getting our marriage annulled!"

"I've seen it before," Renee countered. "The two of you, it's all about sex. Every time I turned on my laptop there was something sexual going on between the two of you. He's kissing your neck. He's touching you. You're touching him. Then, I witness your little display on the counter! I'm sure it's all very passionate, now, but when the passion burns down, and your lack of foresight catches up with you… well, you'll be thankful I stepped in."

"We're newlyweds, mother!" I snapped. "Of course our relationship is going to be passionate! I love that you've written off my marriage with Edward before you've even given us a chance to try! As far as I'm concerned we're doing a fucking fantastic job so far!"

"Fucking fantastic, indeed," Renee sneered. "That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you. A good lay is not worth getting married over. Fuck him all you like, just don't marry him. Marrying Charlie was the stupidest thing I ever did. Did you know I didn't want children? Charlie did, and… well, look how that turned out. I'm stuck being a mother for the rest of my life. Now I have to watch my child make idiotic mistakes, just like I did. Except, she's stubborn like her father, and refuses to listen."

I felt the tears sting my eyes at my mother's cruel words. I didn't doubt they were true. It explained the decided lack of maternal feelings Renee displayed while I was growing up... I felt stupid. Useless. I was a mistake. My mother didn't want me.

I took a shuddery breath, preparing to respond to my mother. To say what, I wasn't sure. Edward stopped me, with a gentle kiss to my lips. "Quiet, love."

"Always so dramatic. See? Children are a bother," Renee grumbled in disgust.

Edward turned on her, his golden gaze like fire. "Shut. Up. You miserable cow. I can't believe you'd be so insensitive to the feelings of someone you profess to love. You all but told your own daughter you wish that she had never been born. I can not express regret for Bella's existence, however, I must admit that I whole-heartedly echo the regret that you were ever allowed to become a mother. You are unworthy of the title. Now, please leave my house, or I will forcibly remove you."

"No," Renee said stubbornly.

"Fine, you've made your choice." Edward stood calmly, stalking toward the armchair she was sitting in, looking like the predator he was.

"I won't move from this chair until I make Bella understand," she declared. "I've been her mother for eighteen years. You've been her husband for two weeks. Do you really think it's wise to pit yourself against me?" She clutched onto the arms of the chair tightly.

To her surprise Edward lifted the entire chair, with her still in it, effortlessly.

"Wait!" I called, before Edward could escort her out the door.

Edward turned. My mother looked to me, hopefully.

"I'd like the key to our house, please," I said monotone. Her face fell.

Edward proceeded to march purposefully outside. He dumped the chair unceremoniously a few feet away from the stoop, not caring that he'd jolted my mother, who looked quite stricken.

I was a little stricken by my newfound knowledge, myself. How could my mother say something like this to me? Part of me didn't want to believe she meant it. Another part knew she probably did.

Edward came up behind me, holding my mother's key triumphantly. His face immediately softened when he saw my distressed expression. He wrapped his arms around me consolingly.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

I wasn't.

Edward and I were forever.

That was all I needed.


End file.
